I thought you would stand out from the rest and be different, never did i thought you are just the same as any other, or maybe even worst. Maybe you do stand out, because no one had ever dared to do that to me.
I know the cruel truths about the world, the people who lies and pretends, who scams and cheats, the evil and the unscrupulous.
Even if Jay and i were a mistake, it was a sweet mistake because he never lies. When i said never, i dont really mean he never did, but things that he shouldnt lie, he wouldnt and he didnt. That's the reason why i was so in love with him.
But in the real world, all men are scums. All men except Jay would want to hurt me on purpose. Ive lost faith in this fighting game, i dont wanna play it anymore.
From now on, the only men i trust is Jay and BFF, please dont let me down .. Otherwise i think i'll really go berserk again and i dont wanna go through the same phase which ive gone twice. 5 years ago was a nightmare, 5 months ago was yet another nightmare.
Im glad i survived both. They say what didnt kill me makes me stronger. I think that that didnt apply on me.
Jay is now a close friend who i know will never lie to hurt me.
BFF is my most trustable and dependable person who knows every single thing about me. If one day he breaks my trust, i think i will just die.
I am such a bitch, i dont deserve anyone anymore.
May karma run to you like what it did to me.
I am drinking Hoegaarden with two slices of garlic bread while i blog and watch telly at the same time in my greencomfyroom which was cockroachfied the other night. It was a fierce battle when that black ugly thing flew straight right at me while i was trying to kill it with insecticide which i managed to find after tearing almost half the house apart and whining non stop.
I dont really know what to say because a lot have been happening recently and im quite lazy to put them in sequence, neither do i really want to recall. In short, i had several birthday celebrations for my double2 a few weeks back with the girlsfriends for dins at Shin Kushiya + KTV, Zoo with the BFF, Adeline and BF, Dins at Jack's Place with Shalynand Zouk with my colleagues. I also drank a little too much than norm these days that i think my liver needs a little rest. Too many TGIF fun(s) with my team peeps but it was really fun.
My mum thinks im notorious for being an alcoholic, smoker and gambler. I beg to differ cos i seriously suck at drinking and i havent gambled for a long time (relaxed mj not included).
I feel quite upset recently when i walk around at shopping malls because whenever i see something i wanna buy, i usually just grab and go but now i find myself thinking twice before putting the item back on the shelf, u-turn and walk out the door feeling crestfallen. I havent entered the usual boutiques at TAKA for a while now because i know i'll just be even more upset when i do so i rather not.
Oh well ...
Looking on the bright side, at least now i had put everything behind me and soon i'll be able to start life afresh and even fresher next year if i finally decide to go to Aussie.
Boon's back from Perth a few days back and we met up the other guys and landed up at Icon. Im so sick of that place, seriously. I really hate it and i still dont like it.
My complexion is so bad lately i wish i could tear my skin off my face.
Okay, enough ranting i think im going to sleep .. soon.
* yours truly.
amber.ruoxuan\\twenty\
* mates.
07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006
10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007
04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007
06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007
07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007
08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007
09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007
10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007
11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007
12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008
01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008
02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008
03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008
04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008
05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008
06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008
07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008
08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008
09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008
10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008
11/01/2008 - 12/01/2008
12/01/2008 - 01/01/2009
01/01/2009 - 02/01/2009
02/01/2009 - 03/01/2009
03/01/2009 - 04/01/2009
04/01/2009 - 05/01/2009
05/01/2009 - 06/01/2009
06/01/2009 - 07/01/2009
07/01/2009 - 08/01/2009
08/01/2009 - 09/01/2009
09/01/2009 - 10/01/2009
10/01/2009 - 11/01/2009
11/01/2009 - 12/01/2009
12/01/2009 - 01/01/2010
01/01/2010 - 02/01/2010
02/01/2010 - 03/01/2010
03/01/2010 - 04/01/2010
04/01/2010 - 05/01/2010
05/01/2010 - 06/01/2010
06/01/2010 - 07/01/2010
07/01/2010 - 08/01/2010
10/01/2010 - 11/01/2010
11/01/2010 - 12/01/2010
01/01/2011 - 02/01/2011
02/01/2011 - 03/01/2011
20051987\\single\\operations analyst @ credit suisse\\friendster*
* commentators.
Alan
Alex
Alvin
Andrew
Angela
Angie
Anothergal
Audie
Aychuen
Celine
Daphne
Denise
Emelia
Eric
Eugene
Florence
Gabriel
Gena
Grace
Guang
Ian
Iylia
Jane
Jason
Jean
Jennifer
Jingmin
Jingyang
John
Joshua
Joycelyn
Leanne
Leonard Khoo
Leonard
Leroy
Lina
Lynn
Marcus
Meiting
Nur
Rayner
Ron
Ruoci
Samantha
Shawnie
Siwei
Steven
Weiyang
Yihao
Yuping
Yvonne
* archive.